I have circled an studied this mountain. I am what is ugly. I need to show him, I need to show them what I've only glimpsed in myself.

Are you not addicted.

Why am I still here.
Why do I still hurt.
Why, after all this time, do I hate myself.
Why can't I live.
Why can't I love.
Why can't I trust and let anyone in.
What can I do to save myself.

Is that what this is? An attempt to rescue myself?

I don't know what I can do when this fails.